So, 2025 was a remarkable year.  God Bless 2026, PLEASE

My youngest daughter turned 14 on Dec 28.  I'll be 70 soon.  SC DSS recommended that I was too old & too busy owning a business to raise this child alone. "And you're a Cancer patient." ( I had finished treatments and the tests of tissue taken were morbid. No cancer remaining.)   Her Mother died from an overdose.  Went to court for permanent custody. Separated, I had custody before the death of her Mother. I was shocked.  Asked me "last time I had sex".  "How do we know you won't date another like her mother?"  (Supposition - such questioning not allowed according to my attorney before the court. Yet, my dude didn't object to any of this line of questioning during court. He had to appear before this court, this judge, lots more in the future.  When I said, "My attorney says this is supposition, and not admissible in court, the DSS atty rolled her eyes and so did the female judge.   I knew my ass was grass.

In later conversation with DSS, I told them I had 2 other cases, along with mine, to bring before the state but would find 6 in total before I came back to court. (so they would pay attention)  Our State Senator had been one of my legal advisors, but because I asked him to help the Mother once, he could not help with the current family court situation. With the Mother dead, he now could. But because I already had hired a different one, ya just can't change in midstream? Respect & trust?  I didn't have a reason at the time before court. On any appeal or further proceedings I'd determined to call my Senator. Told the upper state director.  Funny?  Next week, the head of Greenwood County DSS was moved sideways to another state job, not with DSS. All the counselors, case workers, etc., involved with "Chuck vs SC" were gone.

I ask, how could they have this decision - given the Guardian Ad Litem did not show for court?  Convenient?  He had previously apologized to me for getting the court involved, wrongly thinking the Mother was in the home with me and the kids.  His representative atty simply said the Ad Litem agrees with whatever DSS says. 

SO 60% custody with my oldest daughter. 40% to me. Basically, this means - Eat shit till you die. You can take whatever leftovers are allowed. Yet, from my oldest daughter's point of view: She had enough on her plate without additional child care of her half sister.  I'm sure DSS told her that if she didn't "step up to the plate", they would place Ariella in foster care.  Same crap they have told others. DO you believe the state? What If I don't follow their "recommendations/Gestapo rules" - might they take my children too? I didn't like that Mother, and can't believe my Dad didn't throw her out of his life years ago. I think he chose her over me, his own child.  (How would you like all this thrust into your immediate family?)  I love both my female children. God Bless her husband, who is caught in the middle of all this. 

SO, I am a "life coach".  "Specializing in relationships".  Deemed one of the best by our industry. Accomplish more CCUs than required every year. Certification in more areas than I care to list.  - How does a "coach" get in such a mess?   I began this career after examining some of my previous life choices.  

The first two case workers both told me that DSS was not going to allow me to keep children (At that time Ariella had a brother who was also in my care.) DSS removed these case workers from my case because they thought I was able. The next case worker came to Cultured Cowboy and screamed, "You think you know more than I do!"  She was in a state. Having studied Richard Bandler, et al., I helped her into a better state of mind for that day.  She left happy about life that day. However, given her prejudice of a man raising a female, she persisted to remove my daughter and her half brother. 

His deceased Dad's half sister was contacted and told if she did not take custody of their nephew, he would be put into foster care, out of state, and no one would ever see him again. He was not going to remain with me - I WAS NOT BLOOD!. So I wrote a poem - "Love is thicker than Blood".  He was taken to the Aunt's home. God Bless her and her husband.  Love them both.

As time went on, the half brother came back to me with a reputation of getting into trouble. No need for all the details, but I was set up. His addiction led to removal of both he and my daughter.  DSS moved him to TN. and my youngest daughter into my oldest daughter's home.  

Truth - My daughters are doing OK together. It's probably a good experience that they get close together. MY youngest is about the age of my grandchildren. My youngest gets to see a small part of farm life. A lot of suburbanite. 

Farm life is not easy, but so rewarding! Retail gives opportunity for leadership.  I take the time I have with her to teach life lessons, to do stuff farm girls , every young girl needs to know. Praise God, my older & younger daughters love their Lord. 

I am thankful that I have survived the cancer. Not for me so much, but for the opportunity to continue to be example and teach life expectancies to many.

Is it weird that a "life coach" with so many credentials has such family problems?  I ponder. Without the many "issues" lived through, how could I possibly empathize as needed? Maybe all the struggle is the reason that leads to coaching hundreds of others. (If Life had been continuously "pretty", I'da never searched for answers that have led to the growth of these hundreds of relationships.)

***   When in the midst of knarly turmoil, it is hard to understand the tapestry of life that will become yours. Life has seasons. 

Pray.  INvolve your Self with others.  NO man / woman is an island.  DOn't always accept what happens around you as fate, or beyond your control.  WE ALL have the choice to make cake from broken eggs. Life is about how we act upon the presentations life gives our way.

My ranting above is about righteous indignation. This year, how will you use your opportunities to make life better?  How will you become strong? How will you help others to stand? How can your anger / angst become helpful? 

Maybe. like me, time will be on your side. Be the example others wish they could become. My dealings with DSS are about making better justice in the future. My greatest hope is not about the store, Cultured Cowboy. It is about building better family relations. Cultured Cowboy is a means toward ends.

And we will accomplish by helping all of you have dreams that come true. Some by a boot, hat, belt or tack.  Many by sharing a kind word, a celebration, a hardship to resolve. 

I am blessed with thousands of you, with whom I have shared small parts of life over the past 50+ years.  Thank you for listening to my "pissed off ness". You don't know how I have held in this vent!

And like you, getting it "out" will help with moving forward. I pray for all of you. Time heals, as long as you work like hell to get to the healing.

Never written such a newsletter before. Yet - The holiday season is the highest for suicide, loneliness, depression, anxiety, feeling rejected.    If ya need help, all the world has challenges. You are not alone. 
       You are a wonderful, marvelous creation. God LOves you and I love you.

Suicide hotlines - S is a permanent end to a temporary problem! 
Life Coaching - Ask the questions which bring your best back to the forefront of life. Live from this present - into a desired, hoped for future. Use the past in a positive manner - not an unending unholy hole.
Faith - Yeshua, Christ, was the best life coach ever. Much of modern psychology has turned to the things He taught.  - Above all else - LOVE!  1 Cor 13.  John 3:16

Happy New year - Together, We can make it one of our best!  
 ChuckyT

PS: cell phone 1 864 341 4775