Memorial to Tragedy - Hope can spring forward

This model is Danielle Balasty. She passed away in May 2024. Coroner's report is not complete at this time.
She & I shared 2 children together. Only 1 of which through my sperm.  I wrote a poem years ago, in dealing with SC DSS - "LOVE is thicker than blood". 

Danielle had 3 distinct personalities. Here you see her as a  38 yr old adult in the mindset of a 12 yr old child. This personality and Danielle No 2 - a normal woman, were both attractive and sustainable. Danielle 3, you never wanted to meet.  (There were protective issues a more Solution Focused psychologist, and a more understanding/informed, SC DSS could have helped.) 

She suffered thru mental health challenges for a lot of her life.  At 12, she was on the streets of Cincinnati, about to be gang raped, and a pit bull dog kept the gang at bay till she could escape.  Her partner was "curbed".  His face was placed on a sidewalk curb & the gang jumped on his jaw till it was dislocated, face deformed, brain permanently disabled, and he was unconscious & left for dead.   Can you imagine - she was never going to be without a pit bull dog for the rest of her life.  She had trust issues.  She had protective challenges.

{ Sidebar: Her mother, Diane, had mental health challenges too.  Even so, Diane lived with me for about 9 months. We debated / examined / studied Hebrew Scriptures. She taught me the basics of "Aleph-Bette".  Diane challenged me. Called me a "Gentile".  At our beginning, this was not a nice reflection. ( think spic, wetback, low life person, etc.  I was not a "Jew", and was dating her daughter.) I was too ignorant to take "Gentile" that way. Over a few weeks, "Gentile" became a more affectionate description. Weird?  Only God can take the weird & make it righteous! }

Danielle had residence in several states, 3 of which prescribed medical marijuana. SC does not -, except for former Gov Nikki Haley allowed the use in epilepsy. (You would think this to set precedence?) Danielle's best was when MJ was used in moderation. She had an issue with moderation!  Alternative legal drugs were both addictive & catastrophic with her. - Even catatonic states I observed. ( I went to her mental health facility - Beckman. Tried to explain her difficulties. I was told they could not discuss her with me due to HIPPA. I told them I knew HIPPA. But they could listen to me, and pass forward to Dr Ebert & others my observations & experiences with Danielle on the prescribed meds. ) Her diagnoses were bi-polar & sometimes (intermittent) severe PTSD.  She definitely had an attitude & could tell a lie as if truth. She believed what she told herself in every situation - truth or not. (brain science proves this as true) 

That said, fast forward.  I was scanned & diagnosed as 4th stage colon cancer a few years ago. Oncologist walked into my room, said they would make me as comfortable as possible for the next 3 months & wished me the best.  2 minutes later, came back. Said, "whoa"!   I told him I had horses & knew what that means. 'WHAT YA GOT DOC?"   "Your blood doesn't match your images."  Truthfully, without all the details, we coached 2 more tests. Crazy cross indications.    Danielle, knowing the possibilities of medical marijuana, risked arrest for me. Went to MI, or WI, I don't know which, and brought back 'Simpson Oil".

So, I tried to ask my oncologist about it and I was ignored. (He'd a lost his license.) Another Ontological person contacted a peer who was in CO. CO said no contra-indications with the chemotherapy planned. I was told this stuff already cured more than 70,000 cases of cancer, mostly skin cancer, without any other chemicals.  If I could get it - take it.  At the risk of arrest, I took a "rice" sized pellet 3 times a day. (Nasty tasting stuff, and no "high" due to slow low heat cooking. Turns out it's the high heat that turns loose the chemicals that get ya high - Smoking, or baking cookies.) 

By the time the Greenville Surgeon cut out about 1/3 of my intestines & 1/2 liver, he danced into my isolated room at the top of a Greenville hospital. "Whatcha got doc?"   "It was morbid. Had it run though the lab 2X."   I stated, "So, it had to come out or I'd get gangrene".  "That's beside the point, yes.  But we don't cure your type cancer. We reduce it to the safest levels possible, cut out the remainder & hope for the best. Yours was morbid! DOA! "

So, being a "Believer", I attrib my time on this earth is not finished yet. From 4th stage cancer to done. (Will be 2 yrs now as of mid June 2024) 
10,000 prayers, the best medical science of these times, ( My Dr Ahmed is great.) And Simpson Oil,  I'da never known without Danielle, have kept me with you today.

SO, tributes & kudos to Danielle, who was the one who introduced a substantial part of my recovery.  Went beyond normal, risked her self to bring me the meds. She and I share Mark Watts & Ariella Taylor together.  Truthfully, it was the kids that kept me from giving up on her. Met Mr Mark before a year old, in a DSS 6 x 8 room.  It was the kids that kept her attached to me. She was afraid of being alone, though she "acted out" as if she had no care. 

{Sidebar - How does an older fellow have a child with Danielle?  She crawled into my bed. Sex happened.  I don't believe in abortion. She was OK with having another child. We were blessed with Ariella! (Her name, Ariella is Hebrew for Lion of God, feminine tense) } 

Danielle was recently found alone, deceased, with her fav male Chihuahua dog in a feed room of a neighbor.  

Yes, Danielle was not "normal". Who of us is?  No, I could not often bring her with me to events, business or family. People often saw her as a threat. Praise God for the training I have sustained over the past 15 years.  Yes, I called 911 over 80 times in the last 10 years, myself. Yes, this was a trigger for her to calm back into Danielle 2.  No Danielle 3 had appeared for over 2 years now.  

I feel my older 2 children have abandoned me because they don't understand. They wonder, because of SC DSS telling them a single white male, especially 68 yrs old, has no business raising children. That I could not control Danielle.  That M & A were not safe in my custody, because of liberties I was told by SC Family Court were at my discretion?  My oldest daughter, I will have to debate in family court, which SC has put off since Jan 24.  I guess they are waiting for me to die, or get caught in a compromising position!   Court again was delayed from Monday June 3 till probably some time in July.   It's a merits hearing. Should have been in January.

SC has no "merit" for having taken my daughter, 12, Ariella, for all this time in 2024. They took A when her brother Mark did an overdose. The both of them had just been placed in my custody after over a year of legalities. 2 days, and they take her again because Mark made another bad decision. There is video tape of me taking a door off hinges, and CPR and 911 calls, and NARCAN for Mark.  Mark, God bless him, has been in "confusion & conflict for years. Yet, It's my fault this happened?  Punish Ariella? Are they that afraid of a lawsuit for misconduct as an agency? The current case worker is OK with me. The Judge was OK. DSS supervision says - No No No.  No to picking Mark up to take him to his Mom's funeral. No to any overnights with either Mark or Ariella. No to the time both children need me in their time of grief.   Seems since the "threat" was the Mom, and Mom is deceased, no longer a part of their equation, Ariella could come home.  
No wonder my oldest daughter is so stringent - She and her husband have seen what SC has done to me, to A & M.  They can't afford, don't tell me they don't fear, the power of DSS to take their children away too!  (Ariella is with my oldest daughter & her husband. Mark is in a group home.)

We just finished "Mental Health Awareness" month. 

Please, seek help. Get a support group.  Coaching under a specialist in this area, or Solution Focused Therapy - Elliot Connie, TX, USA.  Internal Family Systems, Frank Anderson, is another similar Psychological specialty that is non-judgmental with focus toward your own best hopes for your preferred future.  Chuck chose not to get a therapy degree because of the limitations coaching averts. ("Therapist As Coach" book  - Amazon.)

 Know your meds. Understand depression triggers, and available physical/mental/social/ spiritual aids: deep breathing, clarity, prayer, enlisting opportunity  to contribute beyond Self, etc.    

Fight for your rights, and those of your children. Righteous anger is good anger. Don't bury your head in "sand".  "Never, never, never quit." - Sir Winston Churchill.

Got an addiction?  Most of us do.  Could be Social media, fatty foods, as well as other "bad stuff" - anything that brings relief when relief is hard to attain!  Anything outside of moderation can be considered a habit.  Good News - You can replace one habit with a better habit!  Have a co-dependency challenge?  You cannot control everything, everyone around you. Yet - Know ThySelf. Set boundaries. Get with a support group.  Love them, but understand the fine line of love & enabling. 

Danielle is no longer with us here. Yet, if others can find their lives through her challenges, I know she would smile at YOUR possibilities. - SC DSS can't control heaven!   You can discover You, what you can shift. What you should avoid or avert. What you should embrace & attain. 

More thoughts? Questions? Need to share?   1 864 341 4775 - cell  Chuck Taylor, Certified Life Coach specializing in relationships. 
    And Cultured Cowboy has been a part of my life for 51 years - guess that gives me the right for writings such as this in a place such as this.
Please forward to anyone who may benefit.

God Bless !

    *   1 (864) 223-3700 or 1 (866) 492-6926 toll free  *